Choices, Opportunities, and Success
As the website grows so does the audience and reach of posts. We’ve also just received a lengthy communication disparaging everything Take That, Autism! stands for. While we will certainly not respond to all posts like this in the future, this provides a good opportunity to more specifically state what Take That, Autism! is about.
I wish my wife had saved the message she received as I would have posted it here for all to read but the gist of it was that Take That, Autism! is anti-autism and parents should not be providing any interventions to help their children succeed, especially by encouraging children to make eye contact with other people. Also, that my wife is too “neurotypical” to see how much these interventions damage children with autism. To channel my best friend from New Jersey, “Are you kidding me bro?!!”
Take That, Autism! is my wife’s creation and I cannot speak for her. Speaking only for myself, Take That, Autism! is about doing what any parents want to do for their children: providing our children as many opportunities as possible to succeed. I do not want my son to feel limited in his choices for success as an adult. If my son knows to make eye contact with others as an adult but chooses not to, that’s fine because he made that choice. If we don’t provide him tools for success in the form of interventions then we are severely limiting his choices as an adult. I want my son to have the choice of sitting in the boardroom of a Fortune 500 company, trying cases as a lawyer, or saving lives as a doctor. He can’t do these without making eye contact. We have a farm and I would be equally proud if he wanted to stay here and try to make a living off it. Even on a remote farm in the country, he’ll still be more successful selling cows, tomatoes, or grizzly bears if he can look a customer in the eye and give them a firm handshake. The same goes for virtually every way to make a living including electricians, entrepreneurs, welders, and hoteliers.
Lets note that I’m talking about reasonably attainable choices for an individual child. I’m not going to have my 3 year old practice golf for six hours each day to give him the choice of becoming a PGA pro. Similarly, autism is a wide spectrum and ultimate opportunities are going to vary for each child. For some, the goal may be any job at all that can provide some sort of satisfaction or semi-independence. It may even be just the ability to convey what food is desired for a meal or that a bathroom is needed. It is unbelievable that anyone could hold the viewpoint that parents are wrong to provide interventions that help children with autism tell their parents what they want to eat or that they have to use the bathroom. It is beyond me that some people are capable of thinking this way, let alone actively deride parents doing everything in their power to help their children have choices in life.
I could write a book about why this attitude is so wrong and damaging but let’s wrap this post up and maybe we’ll continue in another one day. To sum up, Take That, Autism! is about parents providing choices and the best opportunities for individual success for their children with autism. Whatever path in life they choose will ultimately be up to the child but we will do our best to provide them with as many options as possible. The choices and opportunities are going to differ for each child, and that’s okay, but we’re still going to do the best we can because our children deserve nothing less.