1,460 Days

It’s been 1,460 days since we met. Well…technically not until tonight at 9:02 because you were an obstinate 24 hour labor, but who’s keeping score πŸ˜‰ ?

I didn’t know 1,460 days ago when you made me a mom that I was also becoming a special needs mom. I didn’t realize the journey that was ahead of us, the emotions that would come when I knew “something wasn’t right”, or the heartache I would feel when my suspicions were confirmed.
1,460 days ago, I also didn’t know that I could love another human being as much as I love you. I didn’t realize that a kid could be so quiet yet have so much to say, that someone who doesn’t like to socialize would be so affectionate, and that I would want so desperately to eat each and every single one of your toes.
My love for you is a different kind of love. It has components of fear of the unknown that make me check on you several times each night. It’s tangled up in an affectionate web of worry that has you on my mind almost all day long. It has me clinging to our good days and cringing when we have bad ones. I love you hard.Β And a love that intense comes with a vast array of emotions.
But I’d like to thank you, my love. Over the last 1,460 days you have taught me that I can handle more than I ever thought. That I can take the bad with the good and remain optimistic, and how to prioritize my time. You’ve also given me the confidence to take on the world with you by my side and not give a you-know-what about anything anyone thinks or says about us.
I love your sister an incredible amount. And any future siblings you may one day have. But when it is all said and done, when I leave this place, I will leave here having loved you the longest and that counts for something.
Β 
Happy Birthday, my love. Know that there aren’t enough words for me to accurately describe how incredible I think you are or that would capture just how much I care about you. Because I love you so much more than simply to the moon and back.
May the next 1,460 days be as amazing as these have been.
Love and Autism,
Mama

Holler at me!